Diary of a Foster Kid By Peggy

diary

Dear journal,
Today is my birthday. I wish Mom and Dad were here. This is week two of being in foster care. My Little sister, Angel, and my foster sisters will throw me a party. I hope the foster mom will let me call home and say hi, and I really hope I get lots of presents. I’m going to wear the pink dress Dad gave me, even though it doesn’t fit, because I miss him so much. I’m going to get ready now, journal.
Bye bye.
Love, Hope.

Dear journal,
I had to write again today just to tell you what happened. My foster mom threw out my dress because it didn’t fit but I stole it out of the garbage and hid it away. At my party we had cake but they wouldn’t let me call Mom. Cort order, they said. What is a cort anyway? My foster sister gave me my first gift, she called it smoking a joint. She said it would help me not feel sad anymore. Well, it’s bedtime now and I’m even more sleepy than usual. I’m going to tuck Angel in and sleep.
Good night.
Love, Hope.

Dear journal,
It’s been a month now. We got to visit Mom and Dad today. Now that I know where the new house is, I can take Angel and we can bust out of here. The foster mom watches me like a hawk, I’ll have to do it at night, or maybe at the foster kids’ party they throw so we can meet others. I secretly think they throw it so they can get rid of us for a bit. Angel is lucky, she’s little and pretty so the foster parents like her. They don’t watch her like they watch me. I’m grounded to my room because my foster sister told them I was stealing her joints but she gave them to me because she can’t smoke them. Her boyfriend made her pregnant and then moved. I never want to get pregnant until I’m married. Foster mom hates me. I can’t wait to leave. I’m taking you when I go. I can’t wait to be free! No one will ever hurt me again.
Love, Hope.

Dear journal,
Month three and I’m still here. They screwed the windows shut. We’re not allowed to see Mom and Dad, because I was bad. I just want to go home. I’m running away from school tomorrow. I’ll have to come back for Angel though. If they catch me again I’m going to leave town. Nobody cares anyway. My oldest foster sister threw me down the stairs because I asked her why she wasn’t pregnant anymore and foster mom said I shouldn’t ask stupid questions then. My other foster sister is taking me to a party where we can drink tonight, to say goodbye. She says I can even borrow her makeup and bra so I can pretend I’m older too. I hope we don’t get caught.
Love, Hope.

Dear journal,
They didn’t let me go to school and we got in trouble for sneaking out and doing drugs. Angel says the foster mom reads you when I’m out, so I take you with me now, journal. The foster mom even found daddy’s pink dress and cut it to pieces, so I found her special dress and cut it to bits and then threw it in the garbage at school. I got caught and spanked for stealing and suspended from school, then I got no dinner for two days. They moved us to another home, though. They say I’m too much trouble and foster mom got in trouble. She got suspended, but she dosn’t go to school. That’s going to be my name when I grow up. I’m going to change it to trouble. I hate my name. My new foster sister seems nice. I hope she smokes pot.
Love, Trouble.

Dear journal,
My new foster sister is horrible! She said we could get free drugs if we were nice to this guy. She didn’t say he would want me to be his girlfriend. I bit his hand and ran away. Now I can’t find my way back to the foster house. I wish my mom was here. I’m going to sleep under a bridge at the beach and in the morning I’ll get food. With you in my backpack I still feel safe. I promise I’ll never leave you, even for a second. It’s very dark outside. I’m going to sleep now. Maybe tomorrow I can find somewhere better to live.
Night.
Love Trouble.

Dear journal,
They found me at a bus station, the driver must have ratted me out. I managed to stay free for a whole week and it was better than here. It was really cold and I had to steal my food like Aladdin. Now I’m back. At school there’s this boy. He’s dyslexic, which sounds like he has a bad cold or something, but he says it makes him not read. The other kids call him dumb and hurt him. I’m going to make him be my friend. Maybe foster mom will let me break the rules and have a boy over for my birthday next week. But maybe I shouldn’t tell her because I’m not allowed boys as friends. I’ll protect him if he’s my friend. The teachers see but no one cares or says anything. It makes me so mad I want to cry. Well, the teacher says it’s time for class.
Love, Trouble

Dear journal,
My uncle died and nobody let me say goodbye. I loved him more than anybody, except mom and dad. They say I can go to his funeral though. Good, because I would have gone anyways. Stupid foster mom leaves her keys on the table. I’ve watched her drive so much I know how. I’ll get to see mom and dad again. Tell them I want to come home and I’ll be good. If they don’t let me come home then I want to die. The foster mom is home now, I heard the car. I’ve got to go now. Time to hide you, this one doesn’t know you exist.
Love, Troubled.

Dear journal,
They said I’ll never get to go home. I wanted to die but the boy from class, I call him K-man, stopped me and hugged me till I didn’t cry any more. I just want to be in heaven with my uncle where I’ll be okay. But now K is my best friend. I got into a fight with Alex, yesterday. Alex pushed K in front of everyone so I jumped on him and bit him hard. I got an in-school suspension. That means I stay in the office with the principal all day. That’s okay though. K is allowed to see me still. He’s my only friend. He says Alex had to get stitches too. Cool. Well I should go now.
Love, Troubled.

Dear journal,
I get to go home! Yesterday the new social worker told foster mom we’re going home. Finally. It’s a long story and I’ll tell you later, but they took us by mistake. If only someone had seen that. Nobody even checked until now! K and I don’t have to be secret friends anymore and when I go home I get my own room and a kitten. The social worker said she was sorry too. I gotta go now, journal. Mom and Dad are here to take me and Angel home.
Love, Hope.

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